speakup, child

Wakin' up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had it’s say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think, when I let it sink in
It’s all over me
I'm lying here, in the dark
I’m watchin' you sleep, it hurts a lot

And all I know is
You’ve got to give me everything
And nothing less 'cause
You know I’d give you all of me

I’d give you everything that I am
I’m handin over everything that I’ve got
'Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up 'til four in the morning and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
But what have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we’re gonna do it come and do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don’t wanna lose the love I found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don’t let me down
It’s not fair, how you are
I can’t be complete, can you give me more?

.withorwithoutyou.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

reading week.
we were supposed to read.
oh wait.study.
apparently we have exams.
WHILE ALL THE ALEVEL PPL ARE PARTYING.
yes i am sour.

well.didnt do much studying to be honest.
couldnt overcome the high activation energy.
as would a science person say.
SERIOUSLY.
wad am i doing in science.

so friday was a good day.
not good friday.
but yea.
tkgs 4e1'04 had a gathering!
and more than 4 ppl showed up this time!
am proud:)
went to sarah's aka SS rep house at NINE AM.
and we dont understand the concept of TOO many pictures.
they're up: http://photobucket.com/albums/y277/sterrr/tkgs4e104/
i love how we're still so comfortable.
prap and srap came to my hse after.

farah=prap
sarah=srap

they were supposed to help me with chem cuz apparently i had an exam the next morning.
somehow we ended up dancing.
curling hair.
and painting nails.
ultimate stress relieving session.

i remember the really crazy things we did.
how we made it to channel 5 news.
we had the best times ever huh.
and we turn out alright.right?
nothing's fun anymore.
what have i been reduced to?
(errr.alcohol??SHUDDUP STER)

anyway.
reality slapped HARD when they left me to my books.
bloody organic chem
i mean half the things i'm supposed to have already known from jc i dont.
because i was in VIETNAM.
and i really dont have ANY motivation to study.
what's the point you tell me.
i have no interest in science or any career linked to it.
just gimme my degree damnit.

came back from chem test.
it's over and that's all that matters.
go ahead.i dare you to ask me how it went.

4 more to go...

hugged you @ -- 4:13 PM --

Monday, November 13, 2006

ok i have no money.
none.nil.ziltch(is that a word?)
cab here cab there.
and it's not like i want to.
i HAD to.
serious.
1)HUGE boxes i had to deliver to my friend's hotel.take cab.
2)HUGE boxes i had to bring back from my friend's hotel.take cab.
3)BIG BIG rain and no shelter to church for cell.take cab.
4)LATE and no more transport.take cab.
5)LATE for sch but i didnt want to miss my 8am lecture which mind you, i could have skipped.take cab.

sunday was a good day.
made me feel.
good.
good friends.company.
good dance competition.
GO BLAST!
they won see:)
good studying.

today isnt a very good day.
because i know tomorrow will be a bad day.
test tmr.

EXAMS ARE NEARING.
help me please someone.
or you might never see me in nus ever again.
which i hope saddens some of you.

OK enough esther go study you bum.

i miss you minhui.

hugged you @ -- 10:09 PM --

Saturday, November 11, 2006

looking to the sky above
wonder how my life has changed
wonder how Your love
it came to me.

i look at myself.
the clothes that i wear.
the way i laugh and joke.
trying so hard to be the person everyone says i am in friendster testimonials.
noone uses friendster anymore.do they?
so it's a facade?
but really.
i am like what they say.
i love bringing joy to others.
so what is this?

if i'd managed to make someone genuinely smile, laugh.
comforted.reassured.cared for.
that would be a fulfilling enough day.

but please dont expect it of me.
i too would like to be that someone.

WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT

anytime i dont know what to do
i will cast all my cares upon You.

hugged you @ -- 2:05 AM --

Friday, November 10, 2006

first trip to vivo.
and i'm no longer a loser.
NB:i do have a life.i do.
cant say i'm very much impressed though.
just the way i'd expected.
why go then?i hear you ask.
just to get out.
and i got to hang out with a friend!
which always makes me happy.
it's like the coffee i'd always have to pour in my jar.
*it's got to do with an email my mom sent*

i miss my mom.
she's cool.
i miss my dad too.
he's cool.
and i miss korkor.
he's way cool.
here's to the coolest family.

it is sad to realize that i've got my priorities mixed up.
and even more so upsetting to know i'm not doing much to correct it.

i've been thinking.
i'm sure i'm in NUS for a reason.
God put me here.
dont think it'll be to waste 3 or 4 years.
or to have me kicked out this sem.
that would be.
purposeless?what a word.

the a/c is fixed.
i fall asleep faster.

just when you think you're in control
just when you think you've got a hold
just when you get on a roll
here it goes again.

hugged you @ -- 1:34 AM --

Sunday, November 05, 2006

would you still look at me the same if i was from a family of lower income?
would you still behave the same around me if i was a college dropout?

you wouldnt.
so to remain the status quo.
i shall study hard to remain in a place i dont exactly love,
doing things i loathe more so.

because i dont have any other choice

hugged you @ -- 10:27 PM --