speakup, child

Wakin' up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had it’s say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think, when I let it sink in
It’s all over me
I'm lying here, in the dark
I’m watchin' you sleep, it hurts a lot

And all I know is
You’ve got to give me everything
And nothing less 'cause
You know I’d give you all of me

I’d give you everything that I am
I’m handin over everything that I’ve got
'Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up 'til four in the morning and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
But what have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we’re gonna do it come and do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don’t wanna lose the love I found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don’t let me down
It’s not fair, how you are
I can’t be complete, can you give me more?

.withorwithoutyou.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

-Makes Me Wonder-

i still dont have a reason
and you dont have the time
and it really makes me wonder
if i ever gave a *pause* bout you

give me something to believe in
cuz i dont believe in you anymore, anymore
i wonder if it even makes a difference
it even makes a difference to try

and you tell me how you're feeling
but i dont believe it's true anymore, anymore
i wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
so this is goodbye

i've been here before
one day a week
and it wont hurt anymore

you caught me in a lie
i have no alibi
the words you say dont have a meaning

---

catchy song i see myself singing to at kbox.
and no my papers arent over just yet.
ending on the 3rd of may.
so i guess this would constitute wasting time.

on a more serious note:
uncle fred passed this morning.
somehow it doesnt feel real.
as if we could still go carolling at their house.
or see him greeting everyone so warmly at the main entrance of the sanctury.
maybe he could be the minister of my wedding, just like my he was for my parents.
but i'm glad i knew him.
and i bet he's been as much a role model and inspiration to everyone he had met as he was to me.
and i'll always remember what he said before i got baptised:)

hugged you @ -- 2:30 PM --

Thursday, April 19, 2007

it amazes me how much people feel.

we've all had moments.

moments of anguish that brought forth ceaseless tears.
you cried out, in desperation, for anyone, anything to stop your pain.

infuriation that evoked such recklessness, that summoned the monster in you.

terror that struck so hard you started to disregard rational thought.
you were beside yourself in fear.

passion that pushed your boundaries.
you escaped into your fantasies and for that moment, they became reality.

happiness, no. euphoria that made you believe you could take on the world.
you wished you could stop time then.

confusion that left you flustered.
you lost sight of everything in your disorientation.

callousness that resulted in doubts about your very humanity.
but then again you really couldn't care less.

but have you ever loved unconditionally, absolutely?
that it wouldn't bother you the slightest if it were unrequited.
that you felt like you could sacrifice anything, everything.
and you did.
and it doesn't matter that it was all in vain.

well i don't think i have.
although i'd like too.
i'm too human.too scared.too apprehensive.

see, what's the point in having a heart to feel anything if you use your brain to govern everything?
so am i saying that we should just rip our hearts out and stop feeling altogether?
no.

i don't know LA.
cuz my brain's not functioning and my heart's stopped feeling.

hugged you @ -- 11:34 PM --

Saturday, April 14, 2007

DENG.

it's never been a good thing.unless i had to go swimming.
but not now!
no wonder i've been so tired and sluggish as of late.
hmm wait.i'm always sluggish.
ANYWAY.
studying requires you to sit on your ass for long periods (oh pun)
and this is NOT comfortable.
go away deng.

i should study.
i will.later.
serious!
at the airport.

letsgooutandplay.
andlaughastimepasses.

hugged you @ -- 11:24 AM --

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

and it's here again.

the dreaded exam period.
dreaded in which sense for most people would mean having to study like no tomorrow.
well i dont think they can quite differentiate one day from the next.
it's all a blur.
the airconditioning in the library is cold.

but see to me.
i dread it because it's also my depressed period.
and i dont know why.
depressing isnt it.
maybe it's because i know i should study but i dont.
like now.
when i do i start to hate everything i'm studying.
maybe it's because i see how others are so stressed and i cant do anything about it.

or maybe the house has become very quiet.
i dont like quiet.not usually.
mom and dad are busy getting robbed in vietnam.
korkor is busy annoying poor kuanmei with timbaland songs.
cheche sleeps quite early now.
i guess i'm homesick.

i procrastinate.
i use horse shampoo.

i wish we could be like we were before

[wemaynotbemorethanfriends.butwe'renothinglesseither]

hugged you @ -- 10:14 PM --